Three years old was "too young" to participate in Miss Linda's Ballet Academy in the mid-seventies in Columbus, Ohio . . . or so it had been decreed. "Ballet I" For Children would consist of primarily five-year-olds, though Linda Robinson would occasionally accept a "Mature Four."
I was not yet four.
To say I was a "Mature Three" prances beyond oxymoron and does a double pirouette on the word "lie." My mother is a truthful lady, so she didn't even try.
Thus, week after week, three-year-old me was expected to wait patiently for 30 or 40 minutes of torture as the Fives and "Mature" Fours plie-ed and relevee-d and -oh!- performed leaps across the floor diagonally (!) at Miss Linda's store-front-sorry-excuse-for-a studio in suburban Ohio on Wednesdays at 4:00.
Cut my three-year-old heart out.
I will die.