This is the story of hair. The story starts in 1988 because that's where things started to get interesting. Before that it was all ponytails, pigtails, and buns for ballet class.
BORING.
My mother would not let me get highlights or a perm while I was still in grade school. Hmm, I can't imagine why. (See below.) In 1988, during the summer between 8th grade and Freshman year, I got The Perm that lasted me for the whole four years of high school. The term "permanent" was accurate and the results were unfortunate...
1989. These photos were taken my Freshman year. The first accurately demonstrates the uncompromising tightness of the curls that came from a salon that my grandma in Wisconsin recommended.
Grandma. Wisconsin. Why hadn't I any reservations?
My mom cautioned me that maybe we should wait until after the family summer trip, but I could not be dissuaded. I wanted to return home transformed!
Uh, yeah, fourteen-year-old me? Advice from the future: There are a few things you cannot improve about yourself without expensive surgery and or salon techniques: fat cheeks, bow legs, and sadly, your genetically inferior hair.
After The Procedure I locked myself in our hotel bathroom where I cried and debated about trying to wash it out. They always tell you not to wash your hair for a couple of days until the perm "sets." I wanted no setting.
Unset. Undo. Unpermanent me.
But the fear of making it worse left me with my little hands tied and my little hairs twined. The second photo above shows what my hair looked like when I straightened the perm out with a curling iron (only took 90 minutes!) and then re-curled it into fatter curls to match the fashion of the day (another 30.)
For the time spent in front of a mirror, my big sister used to accuse of being vain. I considered it Surveying the Damage. I also had braces and bad skin. (Not a lot of boyfriends, PS, and not easy to be vain.)
1990. (Left) Braces off. Unsettling perm settling down. My thing for big bangs and big earrings had not, however, settled down.
1991. (Right) I call it "Inspired by Tidal Wave."
1992. What I like about the first picture is how my hair is almost as wide as the dress.
My "L.A. Looks" hairspray was always labeled "maximum hold."
A good adjective for my hair in '92 would be "crispy."
1993. College. I'd like to point out that, comparatively speaking, I do not have the biggest hair. The girls on my right and left were from different parts of Ohio. Hannah, on the far left, was from Flint, Michigan. Did MI not get the memo? Or did they get the latest memo and it had not yet trickled down to us Midwest Farmers' Daughters? The rest of my college hairdos were more or less the same.
1997. I finally ditched the big hair and started just doing whatever Jennifer Anniston did. Without even trying, to this day, I often walk out of a hair appointment and wonder, "How did I end up with 'The Rachel' again???"
1998 - 2003 We lose a period here of hairdos that have been documented but not scanned. I went long:
Below are two consecutive birthday hairdos.
2012. It's called "fringe" now. Remember when they were called "bangs" and they were pointing in the other direction? (See above photos circa 1989-1992.)
And a few extras just for fun:
My date got his gum stuck in my hair...
or perhaps, my hair got stuck in his gum?
both were pretty sticky. '92
Awesome Dynasty hair
that I liked to create
backstage of a recent A Christmas Carol.
Wig.
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